Sunday, August 21, 2011

Short Story - We Are Lost

By Charlie Graeme


"We're lost," declared Amy.

"We are not lost," countered George. "Don't say that."

"Then tell me where we are."

"We are..." He slapped the trunk of a tree. "...right here. Right next to this old oak. This tree is not lost; it's exactly where it's supposed to be."

"OK, we're disoriented, then," Amy conceded. "Better?"

They brushed snow off of a log and sat down. "We just need to recall exactly how we got to this point," George explained. "Every step we took, every turn we made."

"Why don't we just look at our map?" Amy suggested. "Oh, that's right. You didn't bring one. Or a compass." She looked around. "There's a piece of paper stuck in that tree. Maybe we can try to make a map." She walked over to the tree and reached up, grabbed the slightly wrinkled paper, and pulled.

It was a printed flyer, apparently borne on the wind into these woods. She read the words of the advertisement. "How lovely. It's an announcement for a new restaurant in Bordentown. We should go." She slapped her head. "Oh, that's right. We're completely lost. We have no idea where Bordentown is from here."

George stood up. "Wait a minute. Look at the back of that flyer." He grabbed it and turned it over. "It's a map." He studied it for a few seconds. "Well, it looks like the proprietors of Martin's Steak and Ale had big ambitions. This map includes seven towns, along with all the major roads in the county..."

"I don't see how that does us any good," complained Amy.

"...and several geographical features," he added.

"Does it show where this tree is?" she asked, referring to the old oak.

"Cougar Mountain!" he said, pointing to the corner of the map. "Here's Cougar Mountain. Here, hold on to this. I need to do some climbing."

He took a long look at the old oak. "Lots of branches. Looks pretty steady. I think I can go pretty far up." He removed his gloves and started up.

"Don't fall," Amy admonished him.

"Excellent advice, as always," he replied as he rose through the branches. "Now just keep that map steady. Once I spot Cougar Mountain, I'm going to need for you to orient us."

Within a few minutes George was out of sight. "I see it," he called down. "Cougar Mountain is that way."

"I can't see the direction you're pointing," she yelled back.

"Fine," he said. "I'll drop my hat and that will tell you the direction." A few seconds later his hat came sailing down through the branches and landed squarely in the snow.

Amy used the hat to orient her map. She studied the map intently. "OK," she called up. "Cougar Mountain is due east of here. That means that Bordentown must be directly south."

George moved around on the branches of the tree until he could see to the south. "I see smoke due south," he called down. "That must be the furniture factory. Route Sixty-two runs right past it."

A few minutes later he was on the ground. He picked up his hat and oriented himself. "That's due south. All we have to do is walk in an absolutely straight line and we'll be on the highway in half an hour." He stuffed the printed flyer into his coat pocket. "For luck," he explained.

That night George and Amy walked through the front door of Martin's Steak and Ale in Bordentown. "How nice of you to come," said the owner and host, Larry Martin, as he showed them to a booth. "Have you been here before?"

"We have not."

"How did you hear about us?"

"Actually, we saw one of your advertisements and thought we should give it a try," said Amy. George handed it to him.

Larry Martin looked at the flyer and frowned. "Boy, I am really sorry about that."

"What do you mean?" asked Amy.

"There's a mistake on this version of our flyer. We were in such a hurry to open that we didn't proofread closely enough. Good thing flyer printing is so cheap." He held the flyer close enough for both of them to read. "See, it says here that once you turn off Route Sixty-two you go through two intersections before you get to Cranwell Street. But it isn't two intersections; it's three. You just would not believe all the people from other towns who have gotten lost trying to find us. They have to stop and ask for directions. It's just terrible. How about yourselves? Any trouble finding us?"

Amy looked at George and then back to Martin. "To be honest with you, your map was invaluable. We would have been up a tree without it. Isn't that right, George?"

George reached for a menu. "Why don't we just order? I'm starving."




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