Monday, September 5, 2011

5 Inappropriate Uses for a Green Quilt

By Jane Green


As a Floatation Device

A green quilt doesn't float. If you place it in water, it may stick around on the surface for a while, the moment you try and use it to help float in water it will show its true nature! That thing will sink as quickly as you do.

If you're going under, the quilt is coming with you.

As a Jump Ramp for Stunt Bikes

While motor bike stunts are amazing, the visits to the traction wards are less so. Unless you really have a thing for traction wards, do not use a quilt as a ramp for your next motorbike stunt.







As Protection Against A Hurricane


This truly requires no discussion. However if you do think that a green quilt may be used as cover against a hurricane... perhaps you should try, the human race will be stronger because of it.







As a Flying Carpet


It does not work. This may save you the humiliation of standing on a quilt and commanding it to fly, particularly in front of your buddies or peers.

Second, this is a quilt not a carpet. Also, while these sorts of quilts might seem enchanting, its not the same kind of magic that the flying carpets have so , sorry to disappoint you there.







As a Replacement for The Roof on Your House


So might think roof on your abode is looking a little run down and needs replacing. Well if you are considering replacing it with a green quilt, you can forget that now. Besides not meeting any building codes, it'll also attract mould and prove to be ineffective at keeping water out.

While it may have worked on the pillow fort you built in the living room, this doesn't translate well to the outside environment.

If you weren't considering doing any of these in the first place - congratulations, you have got a good head on your shoulders however , sometimes people simply have to be told. If you've read this and are still going to go on with it, let me be the first one to say "I told you so!"




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